Thursday, August 5, 2010

Facing the fragility of reality

listening to Time For Miracles by Adam Lambert

Ping. A slender finger lands with a perfect staccato on the high C note on the piano. No, it does not stop there. Without pausing, it immediately skipped to another note, like a bullet train chasing after a tight schedule. If the fingers were to breathe, they would have been out of breath, perhaps some 20 minutes ago. Such was the speed and force enforced upon the black and white keys. And yet, they never stop or slow down. Like a ballerina, the fingers delicately danced and twirl endlessly. In my mind, the tune never stopped as I sink deeper into my thoughts.

The pianist, whose name i shall not name, surprised me. He never had any proper training in music. Unlike me, he did not have to liberty nor the opportunity to receive music lessons. Mind you, i had had music lessons since I was 9 and i don't think i can play half as good as him. That very fact set me thinking. I am faced by a plain fact. I have been excusing myself for every stuff which i I can't do as well as others.

Simply, take class tests as an example. I always told ot myself that its just a class test. No big deal. I can always pass it. When i get my not-so-high marks, i would just ignore it to avoid the feeling. I call that escapism. Now that it occurred to me that O level is less than 100 days away. Frankly put, i freaked out. By excusing myself all the time has made me a complacent person.

As I sat down there listening to him play, i felt ashamed of myself. Truly ashamed. He tried hard, from scratch. Me? i have been spoonfed.

Dear god, please give me strength to be a stronger person. Just like that pianist that never gave up, and is still trying hard.

Toodles, peeps!

P.S Happy Bidet, Lyen. <3 You're 17 now.