It's one thing to break up with a partner who cheated. But when the feeling of affection is mutual, the pain inflicted by a break-up is multiplied many times fold.
Our relationship was a rather an unusual one. It would fall neither to the category of 'open relationship' nor 'flings'. We really cherish each other. I like him and he likes me. That simple. There was nobody else. Just him and I.
The funny thing was it wasn't a third party butting in or him cheating on me that led to the break-up. It was academic difference. Our age may only differ by a months but academically wise, it is a 3-4 years gap. I would be in a university when he graduates high school. And i can't even predict if i will still be a local university here. That's just the briefest description i can give.
People say "Love conquers all". That set me thinking if I was not giving enough faith in this relationship. What i want is future security. Unless he can provide me that, things would probably turn out differently. Just being in love does not solve the matter, does it? I thought about it over and over again if I did the right thing. This searing pain is clouding my mind to reason. There is always a first for everything and i think this is my first heartbreak, perhaps. And it is painful.
I did not cry buckets of tears because i saw it coming. But i still cried all the same. Silently. I borrowed nobody's shoulder and just let myself cry my heart out. Rivulets of tears still streamed down last night. My only consolation was if I were to let go of him later, he might hurt even more. Afterall, me hurting silently, is better than seeing him crumbling inside out.
Dear God, is this farewell? I honestly don't know.
"Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go."