I received a letter from Singapore offering a place to study there. And what's more, I am going to there. It's not a full scholarship but its a chance of a lifetime. I get to save up a year's of study. The scholarship allows me to pay the school fees as a citizen of Singapore. I am so mixed up inside that I do not know what words to be used to be used to describe my feelings.
*lots of sighs*
Okay, I feel really depressed because I am going to leave everyone behind especially my parents. And also my friends. I am gonna leave my good buddies like Pheeshelaa, Egan, Aaron, Nigel, Wafa, Amanda, Xin Ling, my hubby, Siew Yee, Siew Ni, Carmen, Jayson, Kiwi, Roy, Samara, Priscilla..... gosh the list is too long. And also my teachers, Ms Eveonne, Ms Rubini, Puan Azila, Mr Faisal, and the list goes on..
But at the same time, I am happy too. I mean I can go to Singapore!
*more sighs*
Nevermind, I can't write anymore. Feelings and mind too clouded.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Happy Birthday, My Beloved Mum
October 4th.
My Mum's birthday.
She had just turned 42.
Boy, she still look like she's in her late 20s.
Trust me, I am not biased.
Today, the space in this post will be dedicated to you,
Wholly to you.
You were the one who went thorough all the pain,
to give me a chance to wonder at the beautiful world.
You were the one who first taught me how to speak,
and despite how dummy I might sound at that time,
You still smiled at me with that angelic smile of yours.
You were the one who taught me that humanity and kindness do exist in this world.
You were the one that listen to my problems and offer priceless advices,
You were the one who always tend to my wounds inside indirectly,
You were the one who was always be there whenever I need company.
You are my closest friend and very next to my own heart.
Nobody could replace you, and I swear upon my very existant.
I was always the one to hurt you,
with my words, action and disobedient.
I am truly the worst daughter you could ever have.
Therefore, I've decided to embark upon a total makeover in my attitude.
I'll try my hardest and do my best.
I give you my word as you daughter.
It might take time but I'll keep my promise, this promise, in my mind.
You are the one who was always the first to make up a witty comment no matter how dense the atmosphere is at that moment,
You are the reason why I am still here,
you have instilled your strong personality in me,
influencing me in many ways I couldn't find enough space to describe.
I love you, Mum.
I truly do.
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love. "
My Mum's birthday.
She had just turned 42.
Boy, she still look like she's in her late 20s.
Trust me, I am not biased.
Today, the space in this post will be dedicated to you,
Wholly to you.
You were the one who went thorough all the pain,
to give me a chance to wonder at the beautiful world.
You were the one who first taught me how to speak,
and despite how dummy I might sound at that time,
You still smiled at me with that angelic smile of yours.
You were the one who taught me that humanity and kindness do exist in this world.
You were the one that listen to my problems and offer priceless advices,
You were the one who always tend to my wounds inside indirectly,
You were the one who was always be there whenever I need company.
You are my closest friend and very next to my own heart.
Nobody could replace you, and I swear upon my very existant.
I was always the one to hurt you,
with my words, action and disobedient.
I am truly the worst daughter you could ever have.
Therefore, I've decided to embark upon a total makeover in my attitude.
I'll try my hardest and do my best.
I give you my word as you daughter.
It might take time but I'll keep my promise, this promise, in my mind.
You are the one who was always the first to make up a witty comment no matter how dense the atmosphere is at that moment,
You are the reason why I am still here,
you have instilled your strong personality in me,
influencing me in many ways I couldn't find enough space to describe.
I love you, Mum.
I truly do.
"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy.
Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude;
It is not self-seeking, nor easily angered.
It keeps no record of wrongdoing.
It does not delight in evil,
But rejoices in the truth.
It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves.
There is nothing love cannot face;
There is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance.
In a word, there are three things that last forever:
Faith, hope, and love;
But the greatest of them all is love. "
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Stupid Day
I missed Pheeshelaa very much,
Lunch and breaks in school is much boring without her laughing,
Or doing something stupid out of the blue.
I can't talk much with her now,
Because she's a prefect,
And we can't get to talk much in class.
Sigh, I understand her duty,
So I am not complaining.
Lunch and breaks in school is much boring without her laughing,
Or doing something stupid out of the blue.
I can't talk much with her now,
Because she's a prefect,
And we can't get to talk much in class.
Sigh, I understand her duty,
So I am not complaining.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Worries and Comforts
Worries:
1. My piano exam fees is sky high. Its totaled up to a Rm 502.00.
2. My mum is not so well but i believe she's a superwoman.
3. The petrol price plummeted another $120 in the market and its so going to make my life harder.
4. The end year exams are coming.
5. Oceanus will be sold out before i can get my hands on them.
6. I won't be able to talk to Pheeshelaa or Xing Ling that often anymore but I understand.
7. Not enough money to buy tickets for the tennis exhibition match at the end year.
8. My brother might take over my height anytime.
9. I do not know why but i felt like I'm ignoring my crush, ex-crush i suppose, unconsciously. I should do something about it.
Comforts:
1. I'm proud of Egan! *I hope you're reading this, Tigger!
2. I managed to complete one of the three piano exam pieces.
3. My parents gave me more freedom to go the park during the evenings. :)
4. My friends are great!
5. My brother had slimmed down rapidly.
6. The walls in my room are comforting. They listen to my problems and offer me the comfort of silence.
7. Chopin should be given credit too. His music helped me out lots. Especially this few days!
8. I finally get to buy more story books.
Okay, that's the list of my worries and my comforts.
I felt really crabby when I got home.
So i just assume its just the usual mood swings.
Mum was still sick.
God, her tears were even flowing when she's driving.
She needs a flu shot.
Anyway, I was able to go to the park today. :)
I do not know what will happen to me if I had not gone.
I felt really tensed the whole day.
From the moment i opened my eyes till after school.
I have been acting weird in school,
Dazing into the nothingness,
I can't even absorb what Ms. Mariyam was talking.
Even Xing Ling noticed my different behaviour.
I'm sorry Xing Ling, but i can not tell you anything.
I am facing a lot of personal problems that i don't have the guts to tell people,
Even my close friends.
Back to the story,
So I walked to the park,
With my siblings and my dad.
Dad went jogging around the park,
While we played football.
Considering that there wasn't much people at that time,
I went to join the basketball.
We played a game with some guys,
3 of them were really good,
All about 18++,
One of them is quite nice. :)
He's not a sexism,
And he's got a nice smile.
He did a lot of lay ups and slam dunk,
and boy, can he run fast!
One second, he's already at another side of the court.
He is pretty good looking,
I'll give him some credit. :D
After a while,
I went back to the football,
Terence was there too,
I dribbled Andrew,
Gee, you should have heard him swore!
But, sadly, I did not managed to score.
But my moods are so much better now. =)
What a day.
1. My piano exam fees is sky high. Its totaled up to a Rm 502.00.
2. My mum is not so well but i believe she's a superwoman.
3. The petrol price plummeted another $120 in the market and its so going to make my life harder.
4. The end year exams are coming.
5. Oceanus will be sold out before i can get my hands on them.
6. I won't be able to talk to Pheeshelaa or Xing Ling that often anymore but I understand.
7. Not enough money to buy tickets for the tennis exhibition match at the end year.
8. My brother might take over my height anytime.
9. I do not know why but i felt like I'm ignoring my crush, ex-crush i suppose, unconsciously. I should do something about it.
Comforts:
1. I'm proud of Egan! *I hope you're reading this, Tigger!
2. I managed to complete one of the three piano exam pieces.
3. My parents gave me more freedom to go the park during the evenings. :)
4. My friends are great!
5. My brother had slimmed down rapidly.
6. The walls in my room are comforting. They listen to my problems and offer me the comfort of silence.
7. Chopin should be given credit too. His music helped me out lots. Especially this few days!
8. I finally get to buy more story books.
Okay, that's the list of my worries and my comforts.
I felt really crabby when I got home.
So i just assume its just the usual mood swings.
Mum was still sick.
God, her tears were even flowing when she's driving.
She needs a flu shot.
Anyway, I was able to go to the park today. :)
I do not know what will happen to me if I had not gone.
I felt really tensed the whole day.
From the moment i opened my eyes till after school.
I have been acting weird in school,
Dazing into the nothingness,
I can't even absorb what Ms. Mariyam was talking.
Even Xing Ling noticed my different behaviour.
I'm sorry Xing Ling, but i can not tell you anything.
I am facing a lot of personal problems that i don't have the guts to tell people,
Even my close friends.
Back to the story,
So I walked to the park,
With my siblings and my dad.
Dad went jogging around the park,
While we played football.
Considering that there wasn't much people at that time,
I went to join the basketball.
We played a game with some guys,
3 of them were really good,
All about 18++,
One of them is quite nice. :)
He's not a sexism,
And he's got a nice smile.
He did a lot of lay ups and slam dunk,
and boy, can he run fast!
One second, he's already at another side of the court.
He is pretty good looking,
I'll give him some credit. :D
After a while,
I went back to the football,
Terence was there too,
I dribbled Andrew,
Gee, you should have heard him swore!
But, sadly, I did not managed to score.
But my moods are so much better now. =)
What a day.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Finally punctured.
My secret is finally punctured.
Guess what?
My crush now know that i had 'feelings' for him.
How good is that?
It was very shocking to discover the truth that he finally knew,
But the fact that he knows now make me feel so bare and vulnerable.
I thank god for His graciousness that my crush,
is still treating me like the usual.
For that, i can not thank him enough.
It wasn't that bad that he finally found,
but there must be a traitor among my friends,
Though I'm not sure of who.
After some mind searching,
I finally decided not to pursue that traitor.
After all, there's no point in confronting him,
as my crush has already know.
Though, i don't really care now. :D
But if i have any more personal secret like this,
I'd wager you that only i will know, not anyone else.
Nobody.
At all.
I had thought of liking him from the back,
And just give up quietly in the end.
Obviously, I didn't manage to do it.
= =
Let me describe how this person is to me.
I think he is good looking, one of its kind,
and he is quite sensitive even if he doesn't shows it.
He's as cool as a cucumber and could beat Zac Efron flat anytime,
and he's is a forgiving person. : )
My feelings for him are kept in minimal,
but with much effort.
I kept my feelings in check,
and not to go over the line.
I had been careful with my feelings,
careful not to spill any clues,
but all it takes was just someone to reveal my secret,
and KA -BOOM,
its out.
*sigh*
Anyway,
i had expected him to run away from me,
or maybe just ignore me,
but he didn't!
He still treat me just the same,
and I'm very thankful.
I sincerely hope that he will get someone better than me.
Honestly. :D
I do like him but i suppose the furthest i can go,
is just maintaining as friends,
which i am happy to be.
I not sure if I'm still so into him,
one thing for sure,
He was my first crush. XD
And he will stay as the first.
Special.
Funny thing is,
I feel relieved.
Although i don't think I have any more secrets,
(bout him , that is),
I felt so light and free.
maybe this thing has been weighing in my chest for too long,
So now,
I'm letting it just to go with the flow.
I do not care what might happen in the future,
but I'm content now.
Funny how puberty change a person.
I have thought I won't have to face this kind of problem,
But now,
it happened.
there's nothing i can do now,
so I'll just sit back and see what will happen next. :D
Guess what?
My crush now know that i had 'feelings' for him.
How good is that?
It was very shocking to discover the truth that he finally knew,
But the fact that he knows now make me feel so bare and vulnerable.
I thank god for His graciousness that my crush,
is still treating me like the usual.
For that, i can not thank him enough.
It wasn't that bad that he finally found,
but there must be a traitor among my friends,
Though I'm not sure of who.
After some mind searching,
I finally decided not to pursue that traitor.
After all, there's no point in confronting him,
as my crush has already know.
Though, i don't really care now. :D
But if i have any more personal secret like this,
I'd wager you that only i will know, not anyone else.
Nobody.
At all.
I had thought of liking him from the back,
And just give up quietly in the end.
Obviously, I didn't manage to do it.
= =
Let me describe how this person is to me.
I think he is good looking, one of its kind,
and he is quite sensitive even if he doesn't shows it.
He's as cool as a cucumber and could beat Zac Efron flat anytime,
and he's is a forgiving person. : )
My feelings for him are kept in minimal,
but with much effort.
I kept my feelings in check,
and not to go over the line.
I had been careful with my feelings,
careful not to spill any clues,
but all it takes was just someone to reveal my secret,
and KA -BOOM,
its out.
*sigh*
Anyway,
i had expected him to run away from me,
or maybe just ignore me,
but he didn't!
He still treat me just the same,
and I'm very thankful.
I sincerely hope that he will get someone better than me.
Honestly. :D
I do like him but i suppose the furthest i can go,
is just maintaining as friends,
which i am happy to be.
I not sure if I'm still so into him,
one thing for sure,
He was my first crush. XD
And he will stay as the first.
Special.
Funny thing is,
I feel relieved.
Although i don't think I have any more secrets,
(bout him , that is),
I felt so light and free.
maybe this thing has been weighing in my chest for too long,
So now,
I'm letting it just to go with the flow.
I do not care what might happen in the future,
but I'm content now.
Funny how puberty change a person.
I have thought I won't have to face this kind of problem,
But now,
it happened.
there's nothing i can do now,
so I'll just sit back and see what will happen next. :D
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Thousnands of Apologies!
Sigh, I've been absolutely busy with stuff,
That I did not have the time to update my blog.
Gee, its been a long time isn't it?
I'm sorry!
Basically nothing much have changed.
but, blaming the Ghost festival,
The camp was canceled.
Though, i think it's something good too,
Because I was able to practice the piano for the exam.
I took the exam at Hilton Hotel in PJ.
That examiner had blue eyes!
* smiles
I reckon he's about 40++,
But he's very warm towards me.
The exam went pretty well, thank goodness.
The result just came out,
I scored a 114,
And i'm happy with it. =)
I'm just a bit frustrated,
because the examiner just won't give me,
another 6 marks to get merit.
Oh well, i'm taking grade 6 next year,
So i hope i'll get better marks.
That I did not have the time to update my blog.
Gee, its been a long time isn't it?
I'm sorry!
Basically nothing much have changed.
but, blaming the Ghost festival,
The camp was canceled.
Though, i think it's something good too,
Because I was able to practice the piano for the exam.
I took the exam at Hilton Hotel in PJ.
That examiner had blue eyes!
* smiles
I reckon he's about 40++,
But he's very warm towards me.
The exam went pretty well, thank goodness.
The result just came out,
I scored a 114,
And i'm happy with it. =)
I'm just a bit frustrated,
because the examiner just won't give me,
another 6 marks to get merit.
Oh well, i'm taking grade 6 next year,
So i hope i'll get better marks.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Victory!
This is too great!
My mum allowed me to go to the camp,
and.............. also shopping!
Yay!!!!
But in exchange to that,
she made me to reveal something to her.
It wasn't exactly the best thing i should do,
but its complicated and she cornered me.
That left me with no choice.
Sigh..
But I'm feeling better now. =)
I can't wait for the camp!!!
It'll be held at Kerak, Pahang.
It's a 3 days 2 nights trip.
God, I hope time will pass faster!
My mum allowed me to go to the camp,
and.............. also shopping!
Yay!!!!
But in exchange to that,
she made me to reveal something to her.
It wasn't exactly the best thing i should do,
but its complicated and she cornered me.
That left me with no choice.
Sigh..
But I'm feeling better now. =)
I can't wait for the camp!!!
It'll be held at Kerak, Pahang.
It's a 3 days 2 nights trip.
God, I hope time will pass faster!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
More Apology..
I'm so so so sorry!
I promised that i will blog,
but looks like I've broken my promise..
There wasn't much to blog about anyway..
Yesterday night,
I watched the opening ceremony of Olympics.
God,
I wonder in my mind,
' How much are they spending on this ceremony?'.
This question went jogging round my head,
until i decided I could not estimate the indescribable big amount.
The ceremony kicked off with much style,
not to mention rich in heritage.
Body art has been a trademark of the Chinese.
Therefore I'm not really shocked when some performers,
came out of the darkness started ,
to dance on top of a large paper,
( nearly as large as the badminton court i think).
What really awed me is that,
they are actually painting a scenery while dancing!
Black charcoal ( it could be something else, its just my assumption) were tied to their hands.
Actually, what they did is rather hard to describe,
considering the depth of my vocabulary is still rather low.
Try to watch it on Astro,
And you will get what I'm trying to describe.
The ceremony was an awesome,
until the contingent waving session..
I basically slept through that..
there was 204 contingents!
obviously the largest contingent is from China.
I didn't watch the whole thing.
read some from the newspaper.
That was that.
My school is going to hold a camp for us seniors.
Initially, it costs RM 260.00.
Everyone sort of boycotted it.
Then it went
lower
RM 200
and lower
rm160.
I want to go,
but the camp is held on the second day of the Ghost Festival,
so Dad got superstitious,
and said no.
Mum was a bit kinder,
but this doesn't mean the choices she given are any better.
I planned to do some shopping with my friends,
(all girls for the time being),
to get a new pair of footwear,
accessories,
maybe some clothes.
and others stuff i see on display
that catches my eyes,
and also a present for Matthew. =)
Mum let me choose whether i will go to the camp,
or the shopping spree. =. =
I'm only allowed to choose one of them..
I'm in a dilemma.
What should I do?
I promised that i will blog,
but looks like I've broken my promise..
There wasn't much to blog about anyway..
Yesterday night,
I watched the opening ceremony of Olympics.
God,
I wonder in my mind,
' How much are they spending on this ceremony?'.
This question went jogging round my head,
until i decided I could not estimate the indescribable big amount.
The ceremony kicked off with much style,
not to mention rich in heritage.
Body art has been a trademark of the Chinese.
Therefore I'm not really shocked when some performers,
came out of the darkness started ,
to dance on top of a large paper,
( nearly as large as the badminton court i think).
What really awed me is that,
they are actually painting a scenery while dancing!
Black charcoal ( it could be something else, its just my assumption) were tied to their hands.
Actually, what they did is rather hard to describe,
considering the depth of my vocabulary is still rather low.
Try to watch it on Astro,
And you will get what I'm trying to describe.
The ceremony was an awesome,
until the contingent waving session..
I basically slept through that..
there was 204 contingents!
obviously the largest contingent is from China.
I didn't watch the whole thing.
read some from the newspaper.
That was that.
My school is going to hold a camp for us seniors.
Initially, it costs RM 260.00.
Everyone sort of boycotted it.
Then it went
lower
RM 200
and lower
rm160.
I want to go,
but the camp is held on the second day of the Ghost Festival,
so Dad got superstitious,
and said no.
Mum was a bit kinder,
but this doesn't mean the choices she given are any better.
I planned to do some shopping with my friends,
(all girls for the time being),
to get a new pair of footwear,
accessories,
maybe some clothes.
and others stuff i see on display
that catches my eyes,
and also a present for Matthew. =)
Mum let me choose whether i will go to the camp,
or the shopping spree. =. =
I'm only allowed to choose one of them..
I'm in a dilemma.
What should I do?
Monday, August 4, 2008
Apology
Lots of apology to my dear readers,
I have been extremely busy with my stuff at school for the past whole week.
I'll post a blog tomorrow. :D
I have been extremely busy with my stuff at school for the past whole week.
I'll post a blog tomorrow. :D
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Mathew, it's not funny. But I'm Laughing.
Its Sunday,
The birds are chirping and the wind is blowing mildly,
caressing my skin with such light touch,
that it almost made me feel free.
Today, my mum has decided to play badminton,
so we went to the Yonex badminton court,
Near my house.
Invited my dad's family too.
man, that uncle can really play!
I was panting hard,
But he's still standing at the same spot,
smiling at my red face. XD
Played for like 1 and a half hour,
then we went home,
feeling all refreshed and well,
less effervescent but contented.=)
Then mum decide to make dessert,
And i decided to help her out.
See, I'm so helpful.
Sorry, was self praising.
I was helping my mum,
when Matthew suddenly interrupted me,
with a phone call.
Matthew: Hey Gie Eng, what is your shoe size ar?
Me: * puzzled Erm, I don't know. Maybe 7 or 8.
Matthew: How can you not know?
Me: Well.. * stutter stutter
Matthew: Never mind, I'll call you again later.
I wanted to call him,
But my hands are full with glucose.
Plus, I'm helping my mum out,
so I just swallowed my intention,
with a gulp.
Then, my phone rang again,
and the conversation that follows,
is what i call
The birds are chirping and the wind is blowing mildly,
caressing my skin with such light touch,
that it almost made me feel free.
Today, my mum has decided to play badminton,
so we went to the Yonex badminton court,
Near my house.
Invited my dad's family too.
man, that uncle can really play!
I was panting hard,
But he's still standing at the same spot,
smiling at my red face. XD
Played for like 1 and a half hour,
then we went home,
feeling all refreshed and well,
less effervescent but contented.=)
Then mum decide to make dessert,
And i decided to help her out.
See, I'm so helpful.
Sorry, was self praising.
I was helping my mum,
when Matthew suddenly interrupted me,
with a phone call.
Matthew: Hey Gie Eng, what is your shoe size ar?
Me: * puzzled Erm, I don't know. Maybe 7 or 8.
Matthew: How can you not know?
Me: Well.. * stutter stutter
Matthew: Never mind, I'll call you again later.
I wanted to call him,
But my hands are full with glucose.
Plus, I'm helping my mum out,
so I just swallowed my intention,
with a gulp.
Then, my phone rang again,
and the conversation that follows,
is what i call
" whether to laugh or to angry" kind of condition.
Matthew: Hey, Gie Eng. What size do you wear? Your top.
Me: * pulling a weird face on Uh what do you mean?
Matthew: Size A, B, C, or D?
Me: * still not getting it Uhm I don't know.
Matthew: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?
Me: Never mind, I'll call you in a bit.
After he had put down the phone,
only i realised how slow witted i was.
=.-" He was asking for my bra size.
My mum was wondering why am i blushing so hotly.
Thanks a lot to you, Matt.
My mum smells that something fishy,
was going on.
Oh, I'm not gonna tell her that.
Later, Matthew told me he bought me a bikini.
A bikini!!!
Man, I mean,
Nobody in their right mind
Would ever buy his friend a bikini!
Gosh, I'm so speechless.
My brother overheard our conversation,
and talked to Matt over the phone.
he told Matt that he would be so happy to,
Matthew: Hey, Gie Eng. What size do you wear? Your top.
Me: * pulling a weird face on Uh what do you mean?
Matthew: Size A, B, C, or D?
Me: * still not getting it Uhm I don't know.
Matthew: HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW?
Me: Never mind, I'll call you in a bit.
After he had put down the phone,
only i realised how slow witted i was.
=.-" He was asking for my bra size.
My mum was wondering why am i blushing so hotly.
Thanks a lot to you, Matt.
My mum smells that something fishy,
was going on.
Oh, I'm not gonna tell her that.
Later, Matthew told me he bought me a bikini.
A bikini!!!
Man, I mean,
Nobody in their right mind
Would ever buy his friend a bikini!
Gosh, I'm so speechless.
My brother overheard our conversation,
and talked to Matt over the phone.
he told Matt that he would be so happy to,
snap a photo of me in the bikini suit.
Thank god, I called Nigel,
later at night,
he told me,
tat they bought a cap instead. =)
Matthew, you scared me for a bit.
But, it was a good joke,
my brother was rather disappointed at you though, Matt.
I'll post the picture next time!
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